Freedom From Comparison:
A Motherhood Journey
by Morgan Crouch
I didn’t think I could love her the same. I already had Oakley. She made me a momma and my heart was full of love for her.
But when Charley was born, my heart grew.
And then Andi was born, and my heart grew.
My patience, laundry pile, and gray hairs grew, too.
When God made me a momma, He rocked my world. I would look back on those days when I needed something from the store and I could jump in my car and go get it.
Now our car trips are planned around feedings and naptimes and potty training and we definitely can’t park until I find a spot next to the cart return.
I couldn’t be the person I used to be. I couldn’t be the wife, daughter or friend I used to be.
A little seed of bitterness sprouted. I didn’t have the time, energy, talent and resources to serve others like I used to. I loved Jesus but I didn’t know how to live out my calling and purpose like I did before.
It was so easy for me to look at my neighbor and see that they are making an impact and think I can’t do the same just because it would look very differently in my own life.
But she has a job in ministry.
But they have more money to give.
But he has more time to volunteer.
Satan’s pretty good at whispering excuses and making me feel useless.
The truth is, God created me SO THAT I could bring glory to Him. And not in spite of my weaknesses but through them.
So as I rocked those babies He rocked my world, and reminded me that our time on this earth is short.
Not in the same way that the sweet lady at Target does: “It goes by so fast, enjoy these days because they will be grown before you know it!”
The sentiment is nice, and surely true.
But God was reminding me of the shortness of our life in light of the eternity of Heaven. “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)
And what did I want this one tiny mist to look like? Or be like?
I wanted it to bring glory to God. That’s what I was created for and it’s the only thing worth living for.
So I started looking for glimpses of His glory.
And I found them.
In the eyes of my daughters.
In the kindness of my husband.
In the sky and in the trees.
But they aren’t working to bring glory.
My girls are simply reflecting light in their eyes.
My husband’s heart is so full of Jesus that it overflows to me.
The sky and the trees and all of creation never labor or spin but are ever-shifting to reveal infinite colors and seasons of life and death that always point me back to Jesus.
Reflecting. Overflowing. Pointing.
Bringing Him glory isn’t about my track record and it won’t help to compare or work harder.
It’s about being with a God who is ever-present and always pursuing.
If He can grow my human heart to love these three girls, I imagine how magnificent His heart must be for each of His children.
And when we rest in His love, when we ask Him to come through perfectly in our weakness, He does.
Some days when I first wake up in the morning, I throw my hands in the air and ask Him to be my strength.
Those are the days I exhibit extreme patience and kindness when I find peanut butter smeared onto my new bedspread.
Those are the days that I ignore the dirty dishes and we dance around the kitchen in worship.
Those are the days that the things that need to get done, do, and the others are set aside.
On those days, I get to teach my daughters about His love and grace and joy.
He is weaving purpose into my motherhood, not because of me but because of Him.
He isn’t asking me to be better, but He’s asking me to be.
To be present with an ever-present God.
To be weak so that He can be strong.
And to be brave enough to walk in His plan for my life, and not somebody else’s.
He is weaving purpose into my motherhood, and it’s glorious.
To read more about the danger of comparison and how you are enough because Jesus is enough, read Enough: Someday Starts Today by Buddy Gosey when it releases on March 2nd.